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 Free Jokes >Love &
Marriages Jokes >Wedding Jokes |
A man takes his seat in the
theater, but he is too far from the screen. He whispers to the usher,
'This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a
better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip.'
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man rewards him with a
measly quarter.
The usher looks at his tip for a second and then leans over to whisper to
the man, 'the wife did it.' |
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Free Jokes >Love &
Marriages Jokes >Wedding Jokes |
IWomen
are so unreasonable! My wife gets mad because every Saturday night I take
a bath with Bubbles in it.
I mean, if Bubbles doesn't mind, why should she? |
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Free Jokes >Love &
Marriages Jokes >Wedding Jokes |
A man left for work one Friday
afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the
entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night, he was confronted by a
very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade
befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. 'How would
you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?'
To which he replied. 'That would be fine with me.'
Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and
went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a
little out of the corner of his left eye. |
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Free Jokes >Love &
Marriages Jokes >Wedding Jokes |
Mrs. O'Reilly' was walking
down the street, and coming the other way is Father O'Flannagan.
He says, 'Hello, Mrs. O'Reilly...and how is Mr. O'Reilly?
Didn't I marry you two about five years ago?'
She says, 'That you did, Father.'
The priest says, 'And are there any little ones yet?'
She says, 'No, not yet Father.'
He says, 'Well, now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle
for you.'
Several years later they meet on the street again, and he says, 'Well,
now, Mrs. O'Reilly, have you any little ones yet?'
She says, 'Oh, yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four
singles. Ten in all.'
The priest says, 'Now isn't that wonderful? And how is your husband?'
She says, 'He's gone to Rome.'
The priest says, 'To Rome? And what's he gone to Rome for?'
She says, 'To blow out that candle.' |
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Free Jokes >Love &
Marriages Jokes >Wedding Jokes |
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A guy stood
over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down,
measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving
his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, 'What the hell is taking so long?
Hit the damned ball!'
The guy answers, 'My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I
want to make this a perfect shot.'
'Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting
her from here.' |
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