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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
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My 3
year old daughter was playing a computer game one day and the computer
locked up when she opened too many windows, looking for the paint program.
She called to me to fix it, but all I could do was reboot. While the
computer was rebooting and the windows 98 screen was coming up, she began
clicking intensely with the mouse. I said, 'Honey, don't click yet. We
have to wait until windows opens up.', she said, 'ok' and then yelled to
her father in the other room, 'Daddy! Open the windows so I can play my
game!'- true story. |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
Aaron
came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and
bruised. His father asked him what on earth had happened.
'Well, Dad, it's like this,' Aaron began. 'I challenged Larry to a duel
and you know how that goes...I gave him his choice of weapons.'
'Uh huh,' said the father. 'That seems fair.'
'I know...but I never thought he'd choose his sister!' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
Jerry
had heard a family rumor that his father, grandfather and even his
great-grandfather all 'walked on water' on their 21st birthday. So, on his
21st birthday, he and his good friend Brian headed out to the lake. 'If
they could do it, so can I!' Jerry told Brian.
Jerry and Brian arrived at the lake and rented a boat. They paddled out to
the middle. Jerry stepped off of the side boat . . . and might near
drowned. Furious, he had Brian drive him back to the Family Farm and asked
his grandmother why he hadn't been blessed with the same 'gift' as the
others in the family.
Grandmother took Jerry by the hands, looked into his face, and said,
'That's because your father, grand-father, and great-grandfather were born
in January. You were born in July.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
A
young boy about eight years old came through the checkout with a big box
of laundry detergent. The grocer was curious. Why was the young fella
buying such a big box of soap?
'It's not for laundry,' said the boy. 'I'm going to wash my dog.'
'You shouldn't wash your dog in this stuff,' said the grocer. 'It's very
powerful. He'll get sick. It might even kill him.'
But the boy was not to be stopped. He paid and walked out with the
detergent.
A week later the boy came back.
How's the dog, asked the grocer.
'Oh, he died,' said the boy.
The grocer was sorry, but he added, 'I did warn you not to use the
detergent on your dog.'
'I don't think it was the detergent that killed him,' said the lad.
'What was it then?'
'I think it was the spin cycle.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
A fire
fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a
little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off
the side. The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon
tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter says, 'Hey little partner, what
are you doing?' The little boy says, 'I'm pretending to be a fireman, and
this is my fire truck.'
The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. 'That's sure is a nice
fire truck,' the fire fighter says with admiration. 'Thanks mister,' the
boy says. The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the boy has
tied the wagon to the dog's collar, and to the cat's testicles. 'Little
partner,' the fire fighter says, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your
fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I
think you could go faster.' The little boy says, 'You're probably right,
mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren.' |
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