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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
A
young boy's father picked him up from school to take him to a dental
appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be
posted today, he asked his son if he got a part. The boy enthusiastically
announced that he'd gotten a part.
'I play a man who's been married for twenty years.'
'That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll
be giving you a speaking part.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
An old
man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes
and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls.
As he gets up, little Bill (then a boy of seven years) sitting nearby,
turns to him and says, 'If you put a little rubber thingy on the end of
your stick, it wouldn't slip.
The old man snaps back: 'Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven
years ago, I would have a seat today.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
Little
Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any
attention, when the teacher calls his name.
'Yeah teach?' he replies.
'If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a
shotgun, how many are left?' asks the teacher.
Matt answers 'Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud
noise is gonna make them all fly off.'
'No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I
like the way you're thinking.' The teacher responds.
'Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come
out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is
licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?'
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, 'Well, uh, gee
Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream.'
Matt replies 'No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger,
but I like the way you're thinking!' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
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'Two
brothers aged 8 and 10, were alway playing pranks and getting into
mischief. When things went wrong in town, at school, at fairs, and at
church, they were inevitably behind it. Their parents were beside
themselves with anxiety. What if their children should 'step over the
line' and get in trouble with the Law. They decided to send the boys to
talk with the pastor of the church, a Bible-thumping, God-fearing,
pulpit-pounding Rock of Ethics and Values. The 8-year-old had the first
appointment, walking the four blocks from home to the church. When he sat
in the chair across from the pastor's desk, the pastor regarded him with a
deep scowl, and after a minute said, 'Young man, where is God?' The boy
remained silent in his chair. The pastor raised his voice a bit. 'Young
man, I said where is God?' Still the boy remained quiet, but his eyes
widened, and he swallowed nervously. The pastor leaned over his desk and
yelled, 'Young man, I asked you a question! Now where is God?' In terror,
the boy leaped from his chair, ran home, vaulted up the stairs to his
bedroom, and hid in his closet. The 10-year-old, hearing the noise, ran
into his younger brother's bedroom and found him shivering in the closet.
'What happened?' he said, starting to get scared himself. 'Oh, man, we're
in deep trouble,' said the 8-year-old. 'God's missing, and everyone thinks
we did it!' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
Son :
Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my
seat to a lady.
Mum : Well, you have done the right thing.
Son : But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. |
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