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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
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A
five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The
preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass
the kid.
'Aren't you a little young to be drinking, son?' he asked.
'That's nothing,' the kid said after taking a swig of beer. 'I got laid
when I was three.'
'What? How did that happen?'
'I don't remember. I was drunk.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
A boy
and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a
honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.
'That was a honey bee,' his father said, 'one of our friends. For stomping
him you will do without honey for a week.'
Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it.
'That was a butterfly,' his father said, 'one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week.'
The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain
toast with no honey or butter.
Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, 'Are you going to tell her, Dad, or
should I?' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
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Two
little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other,
outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are
you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little
nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done
when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you
lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!'
The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'
And the second kid says, 'Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I
couldn't walk for a year!' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
It was
that time during the Sunday morning service for 'the children's sermon,'
and all the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, 'That is a very pretty
dress. Is it your Easter dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
'Yes, and my Mom says it's hell to iron.' |
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Free Jokes- Children Jokes >Kids Jokes >Child Jokes |
A
6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class.
His teacher looked at him and said, ''Act your age, not your shoe size''.
The boy looks down at his size 14 shoes, then says, ''But they're the
same.'' |
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